Nobody looks up “memorial fundraiser” out of curiosity. If you’re here, someone has died, there’s an invoice, and writing a fundraising page is probably the last thing you have the head for.
So this is short, and in the order the questions actually come up.
Before you open anything: three checks
They take an hour and they sometimes change everything.
A funeral plan or life insurance policy. Many people have one without their family knowing. Look through recent bank statements: a regular payment to an insurer or a funeral provider is the sign.
What the bank will release. In many countries, banks can pay certain funeral costs directly from the deceased’s accounts against the invoice, within limits. Ask before you fundraise, because that is money that already exists.
The written quote. Ask the funeral home for an itemised one before you set a figure. Without it you’ll pick a round number, and in a memorial fundraiser a round number is what makes people pause.
The fundraiser covers what’s left after those three, which is also the version that is easiest to explain to the people you send it to.
Who should open it
Often not the immediate family, and that’s normal: in the first days they have neither the time nor the capacity. A neighbour, a colleague or a friend does it well.
Three things belong on the page in plain words:
- who opened it, and their connection to the person who died;
- whose account the money arrives in;
- who pays the invoice.
Those three sentences answer the awkward questions before anyone has to ask them out loud.
Ask the family first
A fundraiser opened without the immediate family’s agreement puts everyone in a difficult position, however good the intention, and it can land in the middle of a family that doesn’t agree with each other.
Ask one person in the family before you publish, and say on the page that you did. If the answer is no, it’s no. There are a hundred ways to help and none of them require a public page the family didn’t want.
What to write
Short. Nobody expects writing here, and the emotion is already in the situation; it doesn’t need to be added by the text.
[First and last name] passed away on [date]. [One concrete sentence about who they were — the neighbourhood, the job, the team.]
I’m [your name], [your connection]. I’m opening this with [the family / at the family’s request] to cover the funeral costs remaining after [insurance / the bank release / what has already been paid].
What’s left to cover:
- [Line from the quote] — $[amount]
- [Line from the quote] — $[amount]
Total: $[exact figure].
The money goes to [whose account], who pays the funeral home directly. The service is on [date].
Thank you. [Your name and a way to reach you.]
Three things deliberately left out of that template: adjectives, a hospital photograph, and the word “urgent”. The date of the service says the urgency on its own.
Afterwards
Close it when the bill is paid. A memorial fundraiser still open months later raises questions the family doesn’t want to answer.
Say what was paid. One short message: the amount raised, the invoice settled, thank you. That’s what closes it properly and what people remember.
If money is left, say so and say what happens to it, whether it goes to the family, to a charity, or towards the headstone. Say it yourself, before anyone asks.
Don’t do it alone
Whoever opens the fundraiser receives the messages, the questions and occasionally the complaints. Some of those arrive at eleven at night from someone who is grieving and not at their best.
Share it with one other person from the start, and say on the page that there are two of you. It’s manageable between two and it is not manageable alone, and the second name also means the questions do not all arrive at the same phone.
One practical thing about the money
In this case more than any other, timing matters: funeral invoices arrive in days, not weeks. Check how long it takes for funds to become available before you choose a platform, and who holds them meanwhile. The difference is explained in how online fundraising actually works.
On Causfy there’s no intermediate step: donations go straight to the account or wallet of whoever opened the cause. Creating is free and we take no percentage. In the US and the UK today, a cause receives by card and by stablecoins.
What to do about donations that arrive after the bill is paid
They will. Someone sees it late, someone abroad hears the news a week on.
Decide in advance what happens and write it on the page before you publish: it goes to the family, to a charity the person cared about, or towards the headstone. Deciding afterwards is how well-meant collections turn into arguments, and writing it in advance costs one sentence.
If people ask how to help without money
Give them something. A lift to the service, a meal, an hour with the children, sharing the page. People who cannot give money often want to do more than those who can, and a page that only offers a payment button turns them away with nothing.
Frequently asked questions
Can I start a memorial fundraiser for someone else?
Yes, and it is often a friend or neighbour rather than the immediate family, who usually have no capacity in the first days. What matters is that the page says who opened it, their connection to the person who died, and whose account the money reaches.
What should I check before starting a memorial fundraiser?
Whether there was a funeral plan or life insurance policy, whether the bank will release funds from the deceased’s accounts against the invoice, and the itemised quote from the funeral home. A fundraiser covers what is left after those, which also makes it far easier to explain.
How much should a memorial fundraiser ask for?
The exact figure left uncovered, taken from the funeral home’s written quote. In this kind of fundraiser more than any other, a round number is what makes people hesitate.
When should a memorial fundraiser be closed?
When the bill is paid. One left open for months afterwards raises questions the family does not want to answer, and closing it with a short note about what was paid is what people remember.
Topics
- Memorial fundraiser
- Funeral costs
- Template
- Family